Fourth Wall

Saturday, January 24, 2004


Jared wanted to see the quote list... Here it is, to some degree.


"You are pessimistic, Josh? Do not be pessimistic."
"Well, there goes my personality."

"I once had a dream where I differentiated a tram. You do not have trams in this country? They are nice, cute, differentiable..."

Alice: "I could have sworn I left California..."
Miklos: "California is everwhere."

Jaeger is not to be outdone:

(While climbing into a cherry-picker)
"Now we play endanger the professor."

(A few minutes pass)
"I want to die, but not completely."

Even Abella tries:

"So, now we have a capacitor that I have charged with 2000 volts... and I will discharge it... with a screwdriver!"

Abella: "What math are you in?"
Alice: "162"
Abella: "Finish the problem. Then we shall discuss that."

And Streeter;

"So I want you to know that I sypathise with you, needing to come out here at 9:00 in the morning, in the cold, and do philosophy... but I can't promise that it won't kill you."

Now, some from Ms. Charlotte & Ms. Alice, in lab:

Charlotte: "Lotty is not a nickname. It is a death warrant."

Charlotte: "Quiet! I still have many silly points to make!"

Alice: "Stupid friction. Who wants to walk?... Wheels. *snort* Who needs 'em?"

Alice: "I didn't realise that puns were a violation of the Geneva convention."

Alice: "Vests mean evil?"
Charlotte: "Vests mean evil! But not a sweater vest, he's not that evil."

And the Breckinridge people:

Alice: "My old calculator was hit by an EMP."
Jared: "And never worked again?"
Alice: "No."
Jared: "At least it wasn't hit by a gerbil."

Steph: "You jousted a building? What did you ride?"

Ivana: "You attacked Harper Library? You bad man!"
James: "No, it *totally* came at me."

Alex: "I'm not a dork... my parents say I'm cool."

Jared: "Eye contact is *so* third base for me.

Tim H.: "This school is a chastity belt."

Matt: "Stop letting me in on reality!"

Arthur: "It's time to play, 'Where's my notebook. Oh, this is my notebook. That was a fun game."

Steph: “No, I mean kissing guy(s)... not multiple guys at the same time... that would be efficient!”

Dan: “Quasi Eureka? Maybe Eureka? I think I’ve got it... possibly?”

Dan: “The most dangerous thing in the hands of a woman is an Alanis Morisette CD.”

Brian: "Guns don't eat people, people eat people."

Arthur:"See? You know Scandanavia. And there's only one Poland!"
Alice: "You can't have more than one Poland! That would be like having two y-values for a given x! ... You could have a New Poland..."
Arthur: "I like the sound of that. It is time to begin a mission of conquest."
Arthur: "I could carve some land out of Wyoming..."
Alice: "Go to Montana. Lots of weirdos there."

Alice: "Charlotte wants to know when you guys are going to build yourselves some mountains."
Arthur: "Poland has mountains!"
Alice: "Not for defense!"
Arthur: "They have protected us quite well from the Checheslovakians!"

Don't you think that if James Beatty had lived in Ancient Rome, he'd have been a worshipper of Mithras?

It is snowing again today. Yesterday it was perfect, like powdered sugar. It softened everything and was so thick in the air it looked like the Snow Queen's scene in the Nutcracker. I will never get bored of such beauty.

We took the 172 to dinner last night because Steph injured her leg. When we turned down 60th you could see across the Midway, through the dark and bare trees and the falling snow to the campus buildings lit up like a palace and glowing pink like the sunset. It was lovely, Jared, and I wish you had been there.

Sukie is not going to Pisa.

My meeting with Mr. Abella went well. He drilled me through several problems, gave me a talking to about how 160's level math is completely impractical for physicists, and wants to see me again on Monday. His wound was not so distracting, as I was expecting it.

Yesterday was yet another "Equal-Opportunity Making Fun of Guys Day." On the way out of the Calc problem session, I told Ed to go comb his hair... "It looks like you've been making out with a Vandegraaff Generator." Then, when Rafal stated that he was in no way going to do the Polar Bear run, "You wouldn't want to disappoint the Vincent House girls, to whom you have been lying for so long."

Background: Rafal's favorite announcement of his presence when he enters a room is "Two inches... from the floor, Bitch!"

To which Trevor responded, "Yeah, when you're sitting on the ground!"

That is my new favorite come-back for completely unrelated situations: "Alice, you're a freak." "Yeah, when you're sitting on the ground!"

More on the Moonbabes. I'm just sorta offended because when James asked me, he said, "Say you meet this Moon Beefcake, totally hot..." etc, etc. When he asked Sukie, it was, "Say you meet this Moon of adventure, blah, blah, blah..." He says he changes it based on his audience... what sort of audience does he think I am?

Well, my roommate just happens to have a major crush on Pippin/Billy Boyd, from LOTR. So, last night at dinner...

"Say you come across Moon *Hobbits*!!!"

To which I ought to have said, "Yeah, when you're sitting on the ground!"

Always a new insanity at Breckinridge House.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Feed the Ballerina

Just so that Amelia knows what is being said about her brother... a selection from the Breckinridge House Minutes (Nov. 2, 2003).

After Allison successfully brought the meeting back to order, Shoshi announced an excursion to the Neo-Futurium's revue "Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind" to occur the Saturday of tenth week. This idea was approved of by everyone, except Jared Sagoff, who was reminded of an incident from his childhood in which he was left under a Sizzler heat lamp for 3 hours.

Which would actually explain quite a bit, when you think about it.

I don't know what I am going to do about Physics. I mean, I'm going to stay in the 130-level class, but... uf... I don't know how on earth I am going to survive the next seven weeks, let alone pass the class.

Not to mention the fact that I firmly believed that I had a Wednesday afternoon lab. Nope. Tuesday night. So because the dining hall has such drastically early hours, I'm going without dinner. Gah. I wish somebody would feed me. Only thing I've got is insta-soup given to me by Margaret when I was so sick during finals week... and when you've got functioning taste buds, it's just not that comforting.

I know I had something else to talk about, but I've forgotten what it was.

Ok, I'm off to scavenge for food.

James Wins the Freak Award

This is for Amelia, who wanted to know...

So James comes into our dear room 329 wondering what on the good green earth Gaussian surfaces are (a good question, and one that he would know if he ever went to class.)

James sees Jared. Says, "Jared."

And here it just started getting weird...

"Jared, say at some future time you are an astronaut. You go to the moon."

(Alice interjects, "Oh, no," thinking this is going to be another Space Laser vs. St. Augustine discussion. If only.)

"You are on the moon, doing really important research for your country. And you're walking around and you-- miraculously-- come across these Moonbabes."

(I'm not sure if "moonbabes" is one word or two... bear with me here.)

"They're the most amazing, and beautiful creatures ever... and... (here's the kicker) have never known the touch of a man. They are amazingly intelligent, and-- somehow, anatomically compatable--and they say, "Jared, come be our man...and they're eternally young, and will make you eternally young..."

(There is some more discussion of the moonbabes here that I don't exactly remember. I was laughing too hard. Perhaps at the idea of nubile young space women going for Jared. Maybe I should take the fifth on that.)

"Do you go with the moonbabes, or go along and serve your country?"

(Here there was some discussion of whether or not the moonbabes needed pressurised environments, and the effect of sudden depressurization on astronauts as soon as they unzip their flies. It was established that you could leave the moonbabes whenever you want, but once they're gone, they're gone.)

Jared says, "eh, sounds like a month-long adventure."

James: "*really*? I would drag it along as long as I could..."

This is, apparently, a guy thing. James has been asking people this question and many more guys go for the moonbabes than girls go for the "moonbeefcake."

With that, and having finished my "design-an-inscription" assignment, I really need to go wash my hair.